Mental Health jokes
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
Government Briefing:
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today…
…He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Whoever took my anti-depressant pills,
I hope you're fucking happy.
A depressed guy walks into a utensil store and finds a knife, but he didn't stab himself... Part 2 coming out tomorrow.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.