Mental Health jokes
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Why can’t a kid with ADHD shoot a gun?
Because their focus is way off.
Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
What is better to have, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?
Pizza won't cut itself.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?