Mental Health jokes

I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.

(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.

Suicidal people are groundbreaking.

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?

You tell them it's a leap of faith.

Why was I stress eating on the train track?

To wait to get hit.

The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

My depression: hey, what's up!

Me: go away.

My depression: well how rude.

Me: 🙄.

My depression: remember that one time......

Me: no, don't even.

My depression: that we.....

Me: nope.

My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

Me: 😳😶😟.

My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

What does my head and hell have in common?

They both have demons in them.

I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Depression medicine and therapy.

GO AWAY!