Mental Health jokes
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
What's a depressed kid's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers? The Suicide Squad.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Don’t suicide! Please don’t, it’s horrible, and you will hurt so many people that love you.
That’s why no one will be hurt.
Suicide
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.
When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?
Both end up getting cut.