I can hear the whole world booing me.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Where do you find the best comedians?
In the funny farm!
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: I don't know anymore.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
