Mental Health Jokes

Suicide

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?

You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

When I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

You know what flowers and depressed people have in common?

Both end up getting cut.

I wish the grass outside of my house was emo, because it would cut itself.

Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?

"Suicide Squad!"

Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”

The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”

He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.

What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."

When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏

Instead of Edward Scissorhands, I’m Edwardscissor wrists.

How do you get your grass to cut itself?

Make it depressed.

A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.

How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.