Meal jokes
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Where can you never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants.
What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?
"They forgot the stuffing!"
Nah, they eat emo meals.
I got detention for giving an emo kid a happy meal.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal.
-- Jeffery Dahmer