man: hi doc, i have a problem. i take a shit at 6:00am every morning. doc: whats wrong with that. man: i dont wake up until 8:00am
Man, I love telling jokes about Orphans what are they gonna do tell their parents
If you were driving when all the sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?
The brakes you sick bastard.
A blind man handed me a piece of paper it said "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽" I have no idea how he knew.
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls. Man: Ouch
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal and one man came up with a great idea. He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this. But the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
Man's line is back-court violation !!!!
Their once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he worte with the other hand. He got left behind
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man they got it wrong, I wanted this shity plane
Why did the transgender man only eat salad? Bcz he was a her before.
Fuck man I just need a fuckin loli to walk all over me
how do a disabled man go to crutch he can thanes no ramp
Why did the blind man get killed, bcz he never saw it coming
If you buy two condoms, but your banging a woman, its fine, dont throw it away, just make her transgender. I dunno man, worked for me.
Who was the meanest man in the world: He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the moon.
Neil before me.
me: do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?
bank teller: [eyes wide] uhhhhh
me: *scratches head with gun* man, i hate it when this happens
