what's the most unrealistic part of harry potter??????...
a ginger with friends
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says “man, how’d you get such a short piano player.” The bartender says in response” there’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says “what just happened” the bartender replies “the genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12 inch pianist?”
What is a priests favorite song --Magic flute in A minor
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
what do you call a magician with no magic dyslexic cunt
A blond a bernet and a red head walked into a bar the bartender told them their was a magic merror in the bathroom.He said that if you spoke the truth infront of the merror you would have your greatest desires but if you told a lie you would disappear .The red head sais that she was the pretiest girl in the bar and she walked out the bathroom and she got athusand dollars.The berrnet walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar she walked out the ber with a new car.The bland went she said I think poof she was gone
a man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up. The executionares asked "how'd you do that?" he said, " I had magic chips, here, take some"they eat them, jump off and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says "you're a real a**hole when you're drunk superman."
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledores army?
Because at one point poisonous gases where put in it
My father is like Houdini, when he heard his girlfriend was pregnant he disappeared.
If A wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been MUGGLED?????
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called feetus deletus
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due his skill in disappearing.
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable ?
Hmm let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck maybe he will meet a super unicorn and helps him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What do Steven Hawkins and the wicked witch both have in common?
If you throw water over them both, they both die...
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar, and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks "What's so magical about it?" the guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. the other tries, but falls of and dies.
The bartender shakes his head, and says.
"Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot high piano player? He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish. The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf as all he got was a 12 pianist.
