Madness

Madness jokes

Bone

    • My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

    Homophobe

    • If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:

    "The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"

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    • Mom

    • Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

    I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

    Sex

    • So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

    I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

    Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

    But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

    Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

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    • Madness memes

    Cat

    • POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

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    • Arson

    • Some guy was mad at his ex-wife! So he threw a bottle of alcohol into her house when he was drunk.

    And realized when he was being questioned for arson, his cigarette was in the rim of the bottle.

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    • Batman

    • Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.

    Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide

    Rap

    • I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

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    • Face

    • Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question.

    Johnny: What?

    Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty?

    Johnny: Yes ofc jesus made everybody wonderfully!

    Ex: Awhh!

    Johnny: But whoever made you was painting Thomas the Train while making your face.

    Twin Towers

    • Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?

    Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?

    One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.

    Bear

    • I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.

    Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.

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    • Fan

    • If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

    Sugar

    • Johnny Johnny?

    Yes pa pa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

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