New Madness Jokes - Page 7 - Worst Jokes Ever

An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.

"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."

Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.

The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.

The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".

What time is it when you get mad 😡 at school? Time to calm down.

If you're in a roast battle with a homophobe and they are talking mad shit, just say:

"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"

Somebody told another person that they would meet at the crack of dawn.

Let's just say Dawn got very mad.

What do you do when a orphan gets you mad? A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a gun as well!" The guy was confused but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shotting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you use to call me on your cellphone when you need my love mad girl; SHUT UP YOU ARE SO ANNOYING I DONT WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE

My sister got mad when I told her to say this word 10 times, and she got in trouble, and it was a funny word that she did not even know what she was saying, ahhahaha! 😆 lol

Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.

Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

Mad Pussy

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.