Loss jokes
Riddle me this. Riddle me that.
Why did my parents never come back?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
My grandfather died in 9/11.
He was a great pilot.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? "Going Home."
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
They can never find home.
Why did the orphan go to the woods? To take a *what*?
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!