Loss

Loss jokes

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

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  • What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

    If you throw them, they both will never come back.

    An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

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  • Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

    Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

    Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

    Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

    On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

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