Loss

Loss jokes

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.