Living Will Jokes

(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?

(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.

(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!

(Kid) Quit what?

(Bus Driver) Living.

(Kid) But it was a joke!

(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.

(Kid) Ok.

(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!

H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?

W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.

*Later that day*

W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?

H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

😂 i live in a dream

Two people in dinosaur costumes are walking across a street in a residential neighborhood. One is a triceratops and the other is a T-Rex. The text on the image is “redpanda.com”.

In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.

Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."

Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"

"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."

"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"

What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?

One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.

People say that Pakistan is a terrorist nation...

Guys, it's not true, even Osama bin Laden lived there peacefully for 6 years.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.