Living Will jokes

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

DARK ALERT********

A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.

DARK ALERT********

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?

A zom-BEE.

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

Cooper is the best to ever live.

Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

Why can't an orphan live peacefully?

Technoblade: As a ghost, he could locate all orphans within 2 weeks.

My Wife: How much do you love me??

Me: Count all the stars.

My Wife: Aww, infinity.

Me: No, a waste of time.