Lion jokes
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
how haileys child dies
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
What did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
"I'm a Cheetah!"
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
Why didn't anyone care about the circus?
Because it was irr-elephant.
What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?
They're both predators.
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
Why did the kid get grounded? Because he was always lion.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
Mufasa, proof that cats don't always land on their feet.