Lessing jokes

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.

What do you call an orphanage?

A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

Suicide really isn't something to joke about, unless it's hanging yourself.

It's a really quicker way to die, and less blood spilled for your mother to clean up.

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.

I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...

But it’s quite pointless.

What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!

We should bully foster parents more for raising parent-less nobodies.

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.