Lessing jokes
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?
Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?
Father-less.
what is less than 0?
my will to live.
The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.