Lessing jokes
The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.
The happier they get, the less they see.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.
what is less than 0?
my will to live.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."
Hitler: "Mine less, then."
Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"
Hitler looks over: "Yes?"
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.