Want to hear a pencil joke. Never mind it’s point less
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions ..you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared. The man did as was told and became generous and kind ..as he emerged from the betting office with all his money... he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person..each and everytime. He ,however couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what . When he died the Angel came back for him .. "But I'm undeserving I can't come with you" he said .. "Yes you can" replied the Angel , "you gave all your stake ( steak) away"
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are.
I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
Why did the glacier send the ice berg to college? Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES; at the atomic level.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
The happier they get, the less they see.
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain then he does in his dick and his dick is a 1/4 of a millimetre
God creates a wasp :) God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly. Angel: okay... a bug. God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth. Angel: weird.. but okay... God: and give it wings. Angel: eh, not half bad Go- God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS Angel: *shook* o-okay God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out. Angel: .-. God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin* Angel: *cries* Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
Whats 9 divided by 11
Well i know its less than two alright
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Who're the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
What do you call a homeless orphan
Homo-less
