Know jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?

Nose-less.

I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.

Wanna know what's funny? Scott's low joke standards.

If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.

Knock knock. Who's there? Hal. Hal who? Hal will you know if you don't open the door?

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

Did you know that most women are left-handed?

That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.

Yo mama was so dumb, he didn't know how to turn on his computer.

I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.

Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?

Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.

What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.

What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.

Anyone know what happened?

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.