Know jokes
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
What did the Blonde say to the other Blonde?
They don’t know; they couldn’t figure out what to say.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where the home plate is.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Answer: They don’t know where home is.
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Guys, should I do it? You know what I mean.
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
Did you know the food that was on the plane?
It was the bomb.
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.