Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? A: You slap her
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?” Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!” Chef: “Why thank you.” Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!” Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
My grandma said, hey you want a butter finger cause I do. Me:grandpas in the kitchen if you want a finger.
I was cutting the vegetables and my mom asked how I was so skillful
“what’s that on your wrist?” “im a cutting board. duh”
what is the difference between a woman and my fridge.
only one moans when i put my meat in it
Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked "What does that mean?"
I said "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
i was going to make alligator last night but i noticed i only have a crockpot🤣
I put the tin foil in the microwave ma
I believe in a woman's right to choose... ... whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
i went to the store because i ha to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because i was playing mario kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma lik if yu creyre everitime
Heyyy I just found out my toaster is waterproof:D
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents? They cry... They scream.. with joy "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents" Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didnt live to tell the tail...
One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank? The lobsters in the kitchen.
Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven't seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said "Oh no! i forgot the cereal!" then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
What do you call a flat emo?
a cutting board
Me - What do you want to do for your birthday? Fiancé - I want to go somewhere I've never been before! Me - Well welcome to the Kitchen!!
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister ask me if I want some I said no then my sister ask my friend, and he always said no. Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor we have no ketchup, mustard or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor my sister ok. My sister left the kitchen to get something. I ask my friend what are you going to do then he took the hotdog bread open it and run is penis all around, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread then my sister came back My sister came back put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready she ate them I ask how was the hotdogs. My sister said I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty.
