Kids jokes

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.

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  • Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

    Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

    One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

    What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?

    A school bus filled with children.

    There was once a kid named Timmy. His father and mother went to bed one night and didn't hear or see Timmy come with them.

    They all get under the covers. Timmy, still unnoticed, looks under the covers and lets out a blood-curdling scream. "MOMMY, WATCH OUT! THERE IS A SNAKE GOING INTO YOUR BIG BLACK HAIRY BUSH!" And he proceeds to say, "DON'T WORRY MOMMY, I'LL GET IT!" And he takes his father's penis in his mouth and chomps down.

    Now I want you to think what their breakfast conversation was the next morning.

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  • A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"

    The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."

    How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.

    What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.

    What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Why?

    To get to the gay kid's house.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    The chicken.

    Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

    Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

    Classroom: *visible panic*

    A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

    "What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"