Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp jokes

Shelter

    • Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

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    • Celebrity

    • I don't blame Amber Heard for wanting Elon Musk, especially if Johnny Depp is hairy and smells like a port-o-potty full of cigarettes and gunsmoke.

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    • Man

    • Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?

    He grew up a Florida Man, after all.

    Career

    • So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

    Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

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    • Celebrity scandal

    • Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

    Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

    Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

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    • Depression

    • What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?

    A DEPPression.

    (If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).

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