You want to hear a joke?
Your mom.
God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!
A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.
The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John and Jane Doe.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
I love you, Hebrew John.
John
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
