Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
Jesus Jokes
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
What is Jesus' favorite band?
Nine Inch Nails.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
Jesus seemed like he was probably a good guy; healed the sick, fed the hungry, and gave good advice.
Jesus had only one flaw: he was always hanging around.
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
