Japanese jokes

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

A Chinese, Japanese, South Korean, and North Korean all walk into a bar.

The Landlord says, "Why the same faces, lads?"

What is an emoticon's favorite dessert?

An emochi. (search up mochi)

Why didn't the Japanese guy get a high five?

Logan Paul left him hanging.

What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.

For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.

In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).

During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.

Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.

Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?

They didn't open their eyes.

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

Know the nuclear bombs of the world.

🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb

🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”

🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb

🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing

🇮🇱🧨 what bomb

🇮🇷🧨 just self defence

Nah, I'm Hawaiian but I'm also Japanese. So does that mean I bombed my own harbor?

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes?

Sneakers.

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!

What do you call a Japanese car thief?

Tommy took a motor.

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

Why are people in Japan always skinny?

Because last time there was a "Fat Man", a whole city disappeared.