it's jokes
NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.
How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than 40 because my basement is still dark.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
They killed a whole family of crows... It was a murder!
They killed a bunch of ravens... What a conspiracy!
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
Why didn't the boy want to read "2000 Leagues Under the Sea"?
It was too much pressure.
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.
The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.
Sans: haha... Paps: what? Sans: i KNEW it was gonna rain today. Paps: that's nearly impossible, how? Sans: i could feel it in my bo- Paps: OH MY GOD STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!