IT jokes
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
If Jesus had a gun, what would it be? A nail gun.
Why can’t an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because it was family size.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait/A selfie.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
Why is it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe.
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
How many babies does it take to cover a brick wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it. 😆😂😁
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn’t have a home page.
Why can orphans watch PG movies?
Because it's "Parental Guidance."
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
"Since 7 8 9, why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9 and 1."
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!