IT jokes
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
It's past April Fool's Day, and we still have a joke as president.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
Why do orphans get iPhones 11?
Because it has no home page.
A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."
An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.