IT jokes

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂

Friend, you're bold and fat.

Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.

Why is it okay to hit an orphan?

Not like they can tell their parents.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

I HATE URANUS! I WANNA KICK IT!

All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.

I'm pretty sure it was because of Uranus.

Why did Mars turn permanently red? Because it saw Uranus.

Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

Want to hear a joke about prostitution? Never mind, it's whoreable.

Dark jokes are just like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."