INS jokes
Helen Keller: *Gets knocked to the floor*
Helen Keller (in her head): "Wow, I didn't see that coming!"
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
I can't believe this!
Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.
What is the Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country, wall climbing, and their favorite activity in the summer is lawn mowing.
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!