Inevitable jokes

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Wanna hear some famous last words?

"We are just experiencing some turbulence."

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think, "Well, better luck next time."

You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"