If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
What is the difference between a human and a human being in a wheelchair?
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
Teacher: Take a seat, class.
Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
I walked into the school for disabled kids and asked them if they knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes." Turns out they only knew how to play "Heads, Shoulders, Wheels, and Frame."
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why did the Down syndrome person cross the road? Because there was a zebra crossing!
