Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
There are 3 Genders.
1: Man
2: Woman
3: Mentally ill.
I'll rate this a 9/11.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."
Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*
*Wakes up in an adoption center.*
Damn, it was those kind of papers.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
