IL jokes

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.

The smartest kid in my class says "is-land" instead of "island."

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Kim Jong Il: Knock knock

Political Prisoner: Who's there?

Kim Jong Il: Boo

Political Prisoner: Boo who?

Kim Jong Il: Boo hoo? Don't cry just because I executed your wife and enslaved your children. You at least get to eat today, my friend.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

iran

Incest.

When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.