What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car all the pricks are on the inside.
(Thanks to lostin Flowers cause this one is fucking funny)
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over? Pigs in a blanket.
So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed
Me: Hi Jacob Jacob: Hi Me: your parents went to jail for littering when you were born Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam
im autistic and i find these so funny
tell the person next to spell "me". When they do, say, "you forgot the D". They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "not yet". if this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Expectation: Brr, I’m cold! Here brother! I’ll give you my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold!
Reality: Brr, I’m cold! Well, damn bro, I can’t control the weather.
Why does jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts 🥜🍇😋
" this a recreation from ME" Guy: Do you know how to draw woman's rights Girl: No how Guy: All you need is a blank paper and reality.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped. A blonde thought and did get raped.
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes? They are just two plane
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
Two guys watching a war movie at a Bar are talking , one says to the other. " The Nazi's starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war". The other says " my Dad died in a camp as well...he broke his neck" First guy says " how did he break his neck?" Second guy says " He fell out of the Guard Tower".
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themself up
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
