Slinky

What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?

They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.

President

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

Dick

What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?

My dick.

Trans

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...

...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."

To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"

Sister

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Theme Park

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

Bear

Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

*Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

Forehead

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

Mom

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. And your mom is, too.

Road

Why did the telemarketer cross the road?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.

Horse

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Bitch

Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.

Oh wait, I am.