Hows

Hows Jokes

Pimp

How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?

Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.

Lead

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

Epileptic

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

Defense

How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?

He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!

Perfume

Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*

Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?

Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.

Book

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?

He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!

Donald Trump

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

Mississippi

Two Italian men get on a bus.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Olympics

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Pepper Spray

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

Adam-and-eve

How do you know Adam and Eve were White?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?

Baseball

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

Rihanna

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Incest

The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.

Joe Biden

You know how Joe Biden is happy?

When he is rubbing a little girls' shoulders and eating ice cream.