Hows

Hows jokes

Cancer

    • Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

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    • Ice Cream

    • Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

    The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

    Johnny replies: "Sure."

    After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

    Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

    The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

    After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

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    • Plumber

    • I have a better version of this joke.

    How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

    Fish

    • There were 3 Gay Fish in a Tank. One says to the others: "How do you drive this thing?"

    Like this joke if you LOLed! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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    • Comedian

    • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

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    • 9/11

    • The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

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    • Trampoline

    • Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

    I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

    "Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

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    • Definition

    • The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.

    "Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"

    Sally: "You..."

    Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"

    Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."

    Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"

    Johnny: "A pig."

    Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "

    Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"

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    • Pregnancy

    • So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?