How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.
Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.
A 28 year old woman, Olga, in Meshchovsk, Russia took justice into her own hands when a 32 year old male robber, Viktor, decided to rob her salon. She tied him, feeding him only Viagra, having sex with him over and over. After a few days, she released him after he stated he learned his lesson and wouldn't go to the police. He lied and went to the police anyways. Both were arrested.
After his sentence was over, Viktor sat down to speak to the local news. The reporter asked Viktor, "How was this whole ordeal?" Viktor replied, "I've had better."
How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?
He spills coffee on his iPad.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
Please drop a like.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
