Howe jokes
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Memes
no words
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know how to hit a home run.
How is smoking similar to oral sex?
The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢
How do you shut Helen Keller up?
You give her mittens.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.