Howe jokes
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
Memes
Lete know in the comments
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
How many times does 42 go into 9?
Get in the van to find out.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.