Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Hi how are you doing today
Hi how are you busy doing today did I have
how did sally die (how) she got shot
how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red, well it depends on how hard you throw them.
how did they know that princess Diana had dandruff? they found her head and shoulders in the glove box
how Steven hawking's died he drove to far a way from the wall and the cord got unplugged
a man attacked me with cheese and milk how dairy!"!!!
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.
How do you blind an Asian? Put a windshield in front of them.
How old is a blue plane?
Blue.
How do you get Dick from Richard?
You ask nicely.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
How's your day going?
Shut up, I didn't ask.
Use code tiko#teamfish
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
