Howe jokes
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
I don't give two shits about how evil these are. They're funny.
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
How cool is NASA?
Not cool at all.
Memes
How many feet are in feet?
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
True story.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
How fast did Little Sally paint the barn red?
As soon as the bomb exploded on her.
The waiter asked me, "How would you like your steak?"
I replied, "As soon as possible!"
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
How does he go for a poo? He logs out.
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
How does water say hi?
It waves.