Howe jokes

Time

How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?

One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.

Divorce

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

Librarian

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

Memes

Abortion clinic

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Swing

How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.

Guy

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

Rapper

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because he knew how to mix up some beats!

Truck

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

Incest

how old are my girlfriends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters

Rapper

How do you know if a rapper is hungry?

They start dropping BEATS at the dinner table.

Rapper

How does a rapper like their coffee?

With a little bit of FLOW CREAMER.