How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
Howe Jokes
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
I taught my dog how to play the trumpet on the London Underground over the weekend.
He went from Barking to Tooting in just under 20 minutes.
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How do you keep a Biden supporter in suspense?
...
How do you make an emo jump?
A bridge.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
