Howe jokes

Emo

How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark crying.

None, they sit in the dark cutting their wrists.

Source

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Dance

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

Paint

1: Hey.

2: What?

1: We're outta paint.

2: *HMM*

(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)

Squirrel

How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?

Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.

Memes

Straight

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

Fan

For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:

Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."

Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."

Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come back.

Loved One

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

Argument

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

Rhydon

How have you been recently?

Oh, just playing some Rhydon.

What’s Rhydon?

Rhydon deez nutz!

Friend

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.