How Many jokes
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to pull a permit, one to schedule the inspector, and one to change the bulb.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
How many redheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
poor police
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
Person 1: How smart are you?
Person 2: Really smart.
Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?
Person 2: 1 ghost is left.
Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
How many people fit in a tree?
I don't know, you tell me.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.