I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
How do you get a baby in a box? With a blender.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
This joke is like a vacuum cleaner... it sucks.
There was a big problem yesterday.
My dishwasher has stopped working; her visa had expired.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
