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Home jokes

Orphan

Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?

Because they never came home.

Mama

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

Wife

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

Memes

Wish

Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.

The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.

Skeleton

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Tiles.

WTF did you think he’d tile it with?

Orphan

Why was the orphan so famous?

Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.

Orphan

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

Pencil

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

Woman

What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?

Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.

Crime

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

Orphan

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Midget

I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.

"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.

"Bugger off!" he shouted back.

"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

Kitchen

Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?

Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!

Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home base.

Alabama

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"