Home jokes
Why do orphans stay home alone?
Because they don't have parents.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.
A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Why are orphans lucky?
Because when they drive, they don’t need a license plate, because they don’t have a home.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.