Home jokes

What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?

Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.

How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.

Why do orphans suck at web design?

They don’t know what a home page is.

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.

Why can't orphans use a phone?

Because they don't have a home screen.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button!

Why can't orphans have cookies?

They are home made.

What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can phone home.

Why can orphans travel around so much?

A. They never get homesick.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?

Because he did not have one.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

What do you call an Indian that came home late?

A curfew muncher.

What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.