Home jokes
The coach yelled at me when I stole home. I ran home with the base and asked him where to put it.
I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.
When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Yo mama is so stupid, when she took a trip to Disneyland and a sign on the highway said “Disney left,” she went home.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
Earth is full. Go home!
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?
They're both "sweet home Alabama."