Home jokes
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Memes
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?
Because he did not have one.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"