Home jokes
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Memes
"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.
Me: Dad, my phone is broken.
Dad: How?
Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.
Dad: Stupid.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"
The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"
Apple created the iPhone X for orphans because they don't have a home.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.