Home jokes

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

Earth is full. Go home!

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

What makes a child an orphan?

Their parents left them for good. :D

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don't know what a home base is.

Why don't orphans have a site page?

Because there's no home page.

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can never find home.

What did Sally do when she got home?

Cry because she has no arms.

Why do orphans live in an orphanage?

Answer: Because they are wanted there.

What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.

I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."

Why should you never give an orphan a phone?

Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?

Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?

Home Depot.