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Home jokes

Cow

    • Q: If there were two moo cows walking down the street, where would they be going?

    A: Home to see their mama!

    Man

    • As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

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    • Home memes

    Boy

    • A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.

    When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"

    For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

    He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

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    • Love

    • "I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"

    Orphan

    • The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

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    • Orphan

    • Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.

    Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

    Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______

    New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.

    Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."

    Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.

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    • Light Bulb

    • Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

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    • Cow

    • One day, Billy cow wandered off to the railroad tracks where his mother always told him not to go. His mother asked him where he had gone when he got home. He replied that he was just going for a graze. His neighbor later told his mother he had saw him at the railroad tracks. What would you call Billy cow now?

    Ground Beef.

    Pineapple

    • Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?

    Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?

    Tyler: Pineapple

    Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.

    Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?

    Frankie: Right now.

    Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?

    Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.

    Tyler: I thought you never asked.

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