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Home jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

Orphan

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don't know what a home base is.

Orphan

Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.

Bike

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

Orphan

Why should you never give an orphan a phone?

Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.

Orphan

Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?

Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.

Teacher

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Paint

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

Man

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

Baby

Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.

1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.

2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.

4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!

8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!

9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!

10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!

Orphan

I saw a website for orphans. It was a bit confusing because I could not find the homepage.