Home jokes
What time is it when you can drive home from phone?
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
I did a walk through and walk home from school, and I got home.
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
Why don’t orphans play football?
They have no home field.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
I gave an orphan an iPhone X for a reason.
It doesn’t have a home button.
I love you.
What is a home that can fly?
A magic house!
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.